Duncan

=**Pineapple of Doom **=  I looked at that thing and thought, ‘I am so grounded’ I was sitting in my lab a.k.a. my bedroom with a butter knife and a fork. I was just thinking about dissecting the pineapple on the cutting bored I had set out on my lap. I was doing this to see if the insides were gooey or hard personally I also wanted to eat it. The pineapple itself sat conveniently at the foot of my bed. Everything was going according to plan. The only thing that could stop my experiment was my mom. Or so I thought at the time of the experiment. When I went for my first cut in the pineapple with the butter knife the strangest thing happened. It grew a green arm and grabbed the knife from me. Then it threw the knife into the wall and started to grow at an alarming rate. Next thing I know there’s a hole in my wall and that huge pineapple is rolling down the street. ‘I just hope it does not run into my hockey team’s float, I thought then I looked just in time to see it run through my hockey float and get the giant hockey mask stuck to its face. It looked like the pineapple version of hockey except a whole lot more dangerous,‘I am so grounded’, I thought. Then I saw it roll down the hill. It was then I knew what I had to do something and I knew just what I needed to do. The entire plan required was a bowling ball and the ceremonial cannon at the creepy old prison down the street. So I sprinted to get there before the pineapple got to town but more important before my mom saw it. I got to the prison in time but the nasty old warden made me wait like five minutes before I could go ‘look at the cannon’. When I got up there I thought “Its about time”. But I think the real reason I was annoyed at the time was because the bowling ball on my back had been getting heavier. But I told the warden I was not going to cause any trouble and he left. Little did he know the havoc I was about to wreak. Then I aimed at that monster I had created. “I only have one shot at this and I am not going to waste it”, I said quietly to my self as not to alarm the warden. Then I lit the wick and it shot. It was a direct hit and by some random luck all the remains landed in a garbage disposal truck. Then it was just my luck that the warden had not seen. But I was not worried about that I was just wondering if my mom had seen me shoot it. Lets sure hope not or else we will all be in trouble. Then I got home and lied down in my bedroom and fell asleep. I woke up to find my mom yelling at me for they’re being a hole in my wall. Well I guess now I have to tell her the truth. After I was not grounded.

= **Life is no fun without me.** = = = God is the reason I'm here.

Dairy of a Tiger

June 26,2009

Hello my name is Max. Yeah, I know what your thinking. OH NO! It’s a tiger, the largest naturally occurring cat. OH NO! Well I think that is offensive and I hear it every day. From little girls “AAAAHHHH! Mommy! It’s a tiger.” It is so aggravating. You know we really are not that different. You see I am not that different from you I’m just bigger and I don’t have thumbs. You think we tigers are big; you should meet my Aunt Edna. (Yeah that’s right she is an extra large tiger)

June 27,2009

OK! Today is the first day of school. You would think your first day in tiger school would be fun. Well I thought that it would be. But no! I end up having the most boring teacher ever. He just keeps going on and on about, how no two tigers strips are alike. I am just saying he has been going on about this for like an hour. I don’t know what he is talking about I have two sisters who are twins and they’re annoying. Even their personalities are alike. They complete each other sentences all the time.

June 28,2009

I hear you out there saying, “Aren’t tiger’s solitary cats?” Yes, we are. But right now its day and I’m tired. Yes I sleep during day and play at night its not like I’m a vampire. (If I were, you would not be here now)

June 29, 2009 My teacher says tigers are muscular. You know that’s the coolest thing he has said yet. We are so tough we could take down a loin any day. Do you know why? Its because we are muscular and tough. But most of all we are cooler then them. It’s so true I might hug my teacher. Just kidding. (He has fleas)

June 30,2009 My friend Leon the Loin knows a lot of stuff. (Mostly nasty stuff like man eating and all that. Gross) as I was saying he knows a lot of stuff. So he was telling me about the Champawat Tigress. She had been the most notorious man-eater. I was going to say it’s was cool but really it was nasty. But the creepiest thing of all is that I think she is my Aunt Edna. Leon laughed at this. I tried to convince him but he only laughed. I don't care what he thinks I was just creeped out.

July 1,2009 I just figured out how ferocious I really am. I knew before that I was tougher than a lion. But now I am tougher and more ferocious than a lion. Hey I bet that I am more ferocious than my sisters. (If that's possible) But there are only two tigers more ferocious than me. Guess who? You are correct my parents and possibly you. (But I doubt that)

July 2,2009 Ok I'm kind of freaking out. My teacher says I have to eat one hundred and fifty Kilograms of meat. It wouldn’t be that bad except for the fact that I don't know how to get all of that meat. Now that I think about it I might just starve and that is not on my list of things to do. So I am still freaking out when Leon walks in. He asks me why I am freaking out so I tell him. Then he laughed and said something like this. You are still a cub you don't need that much meat yet. You still have time to figure out how to get that meat. After that I calmed down. Now I understand so don't worry about me.

July 3,2009 I am freaking out again I know the freaking out thing is getting old but this time it really is life or death. Do you know why its life or death because traditional Chinese doctors can use me to make medicine. But to make it short my mom sat me down and she said something like this. Max do we live any were near doctors. I answered no. She said. Then you have nothing to worry about. So after that I was fine. Well I'm good now bye.

July 4,2009 I don't know what to do. You have no idea how sad I am. Do you know why? Of course you don't. Well its because tiger nearly extinct. It’s sad because I am a tiger. What do you think you the future would be like not to have tigers. Well it probably wouldn't affect you but think. How would it feel to be one out of about ten thousand left of your species? Well at least I am here.

June 5,2009 Well here we are almost finished with this story of mine. But don't worry you can come and see me. Lets see were do I live. Oh yeah at Bandhavgarh National in Madhya Pradesh in Central India. I am sad to say goodbye but I have to so goodbye my furless friends. See you late r.

JOSEPH When Jesus was born Remember the day to come It was a great day

Mary

I am a the mother of Jesus I wonder how can I give birth to the Savior I hear Gabriel I see the donkey I am riding I want to know the Lord I am a the mother of Jesus

I pretend to talk to the Lord I feel the people staring I touch my little baby Jesus I worry about what people are saying about me I cry when thinking of my old cousin Elizabeth I am a the mother of Jesus

I understand that God loves me I say God is a loving and wonderful I dream about holding the Savior in my arms I try to be strong in God I hope for baby Jesus I am a the mother of Jesus

Wiseman

I remember following that bright and shining star I remember riding on the camels I remember when we saw Jesus And gave him incense, myrrh, and gold I remember going to the young King I remember praising the Lord I remember seeing the little King Even though I did not deserve it I remember baby Jesus But my favorite memory’s yet to come



**Flying Monkey Pig** 

Well there I was at the circus. Why you may ask? I say ask my parents. They do weird things like this around my birthday every year.

My parents said they had a surprise for my 12 birthday. So there we were walking around the circus when this huge thing knocks me over. Then in an awkward sort of way I yelled what was that. My parents just smiled and said your surprise.

While I was stood there in a state of awe thinking this is mine? My parents were over petting the strange creature. Then after I woke up from my daze I walked over to pet the thing to.

Then it looked over at its bird and me like tail started wagging. When I looked closer I saw it had very strange parts like the head of a pig, the body of a monkey, the legs of a rhino, the tail of some bird (I am not quit sure what kind of bird it is), and wings to.

I knew it was the pet for me and I think it knew to. So my parents bought it.

So after we brought it home it was insanely hungry. We tried dog food. Wow. You could not imagine how angry it was so angry it dented the side of our house. I think the reason it hates dog food is because it does not have any parts of dog.Then it walked around the house in a simmering rage.

Until it found the rotten bananas that I had just thrown away and ate them. So now I give him a bundle of bananas a day.

The bad thing is all my neighbors hate him. They make nasty rumors about him all the time. One of our neighbors tried to steal him and sell him to the FBI.

The weirdest thing that happened to my pet and I was awesome. He attacked a mailman and ate all of the mail. It took along time to calm that mailman down after my pet ripped off his pants and tore them to shreds.

My pet may be crazy but he is the pet for me